Expensive Friendships

I would argue that the only valuable college education — one in which you are getting the best rate of return for your expenditure — is vocational. The engineers, the pre-meds, the pre-laws, the architects, and perhaps those who decide to pursue professorship (because then their vocation would be specialized academic pursuits).

However, the vast majority of American college students do not receive a worthy education, worthy meaning something truly of worth. Arguably, the only thing of worth gained from an undergraduate education would be the friends and memories you made. Walk among students currently attending college and you will hear their collective sighs and complaints regarding the pointlessness of their required courses, the hollowness of the information crammed for an exam, the lectures that are too tedious and large, the tenured professors who, plagued by the chronic comfort of their protected status, have aimlessly resigned themselves to the perfunctory task of dispensing the same outdated and obsolescent syllabi and tests and lectures (as if a tenure was no more than a one-time purchase of a few fixed courses with a lifetime guarantee).

Ask graduating seniors what they gained from their college experience and you will hear symphonic variations of “the memories” or “friends for life.” Similarly, when I am asked whether I regret my undergraduate experience (given my bitterness toward the institution), I feel strangely compelled to say “no,” if only for the mere fact that had I not attended, I likewise would not have those fond memories or friendships. Yet, these are expensive friendships. Debt-inducing memories. The growth that occurs during the college years is not necessarily attributable to the college itself, but rather, it is an inevitable maturation process that occurs during the age at which one happens to attend college — lest you forget the first law of statistics… correlation is not causation.

So why are we holding these institutions with such high regard? Why are we force-feeding our youth on a diet of standardized tests and college applications, and then washing it all down with a Sallie Mae special? Listen to any politician and they will harangue you about the importance of education. Talk to any professor and they will exalt the vital role they play in shaping the minds of the future. Ask any parent and they will claim that they are setting their child up for success, offering them opportunities that they never had. But what opportunities?

In essence, these so-called “opportunities” granted by a liberal arts bachelor’s degree arise from the conceited desire to separate Americans into two classes: educated and uneducated. We only recognize a job application’s worth if it bears ownership of a $200,000 degree. This is an insidious and destructive system. We are implying that if one chooses not to attend college, that they cannot possibly have the same intelligence as one who can afford it. We are not only saying that college is the intelligent choice, but we are likewise insinuating that college is the choice for the intelligent. However, in all my four years, I learned more from working during the summers and from my extracurricular activities than I did from all of my paid education.

However, I recognized the fallacy of education at a young age. Disillusioned when I wasn’t taught simple grammar, such as what was an adverb or the significance of an oxford comma, I taught myself. I taught myself cursive and the word “whom” and I took algebra worksheets with me to summer camp. I started reading nonfiction histories in my leisure and teaching myself languages not taught in school. For me, I had to choose to learn. I realized that meaningful education wasn’t something given out on pieces of paper, it was a choice. Choosing what it is you want to learn and learning it through your own volition.

There’s no magical liberal arts college that will turn you into more than you already are. We need to stop giving precedence to those who can afford to take on the collegiate creditor. We need to recognize that education isn’t something you buy, it’s something you make for yourself. We need to create an educational institution whose goal is not to squeeze every last penny out of its students, but rather, is founded on the humbled principle of putting the student first. We need to stop holding prejudices against those who dare not to attend college, choosing instead pursue education on their own terms. We need to stop enabling the collegiate ceremony of buying expensive friendships. We need to redefine education.